Night
by Writes4All
Summary: The idea's from the previews for next week. Why does Eli always wear black, and what does it really mean? Angsty now, but Eclare's on the horizon!
1. Sunset

**EEP! Sorry to wait, but I wanted to see how Thursday played out before I posted this!**

Prologue:

Blue, clear like water.

Pink, soft as rose petals.

Porcelain, or maybe alabaster, purer than pearls…

Eli's pen struck furiously through the disgustingly sappy phrases that seemed to just materialize into his head. Why, oh why couldn't he stop thinking about her? Music, working on Morty, writing- none of it helped; it was like she was a parasite that threatened to consume him.

He shook his head. No, no one could call her a name so vile. If anything, this was his fault, for being careless, for being melodramatic, for carrying so much emotional baggage that he screwed up his relationship with the most important person alive-

Alive. What if _She _was still alive?

_No, not today! _Thinking about Clare was bad, but thinking about Her at the same time was nothing short of suicidal. Was he really that masochistic?

Of course. Why else would he have allowed himself to be drawn to the absolutely adorable little sophomore, when he still was in mourning, completing a penance for his past sins?

Before meeting Clare, there hadn't been a day, an hour, or a minute that She wasn't on his mind. He had lived his life in regret; taking part in sadness so extreme it became visible to everyone. He had found the broken down hearse that had carried Her to the funeral, and had spent his entire savings on it. His tastes in music, which had already been slightly dark, grew even more so. Then, most importantly of all, he hadn't worn anything, not one single thing, that was colored since the day She'd died.

It had been a red shirt, crimson, even, like blood. Her blood. It had turned darker when he cried, to rust, to rot, a harbinger of the decay that would soon set in.

But, more than anything, it had been the last rays of a sunset, on Her life, their relationship, and his happiness. Since he'd worn that red shirt, there'd been nothing but eternal night. Eli was a planet, catapulted away from his sun, slowly growing colder and more miserable as he wandered the dark expanses of space, alone. People avoided him, and he returned the sentiment. Nobody should bother with him anyway; he didn't deserve friends, not with this much emotional baggage.

Maybe he'd get to be this way forever, lost, until he grew completely cool and it'd stop hurting. Sunset was brief, and twilight even more, but this night, this long lasting, never ending night, that he could make last a lifetime.

**Reviews are almost as amazing as Eli. ^_^**

**The next chapter should be up by the end of the day! It's entitled "Stars", if that gives you any hint about the subject.**


	2. Stars

**As promised!**

Eli had never thought there'd be stars.

There hadn't been at first. After She died, everybody that had been important faded away, and he had gotten used to the solitude. Almost so much that he had no idea what to do when he started at Degrassi and was confronted with a whole new problem.

It was the eyes that got him first. Typically, he wasn't a big fan of blue; he'd always thought they were overrated, something annoyingly peppy girls had. Hers had been hazel, a beautiful variegation of gold, green, and brown that always kept him guessing. There had been depth in them, murky with mystery, and they'd changed colors with the emotions that kept him on his toes.

Her eyes were about as different as can be. They were clear, endless, bottomless pools, like a wide encompassing sky. They were sunny, cheerful, and hid nothing, completely guileless. He'd been drawn to them, to that crystalline gaze; from almost the very second he'd seen them for the first time.

As he'd met her again and again, he'd realized that despite her purity, her goodness, she could also be quite the spitfire. She would never back down form a dare, would never let him intimidate her. Not when he'd told her to scream, not when she'd accidently backed him into a pole, not when he'd shown up at her house, not through all the drama with Fitz, not when they'd kissed, not even when he'd said he was leading her on. Clare was strong, that wasn't a question. But she'd never be able to handle him.

Or would she? Could this bright star be his new sun? Surely not, but the idea was irresistible, and grew more so every day. When Adam had said she was capable, Eli had almost wanted to scream his agreement, but knew not to. He had been totally honest with his friend; he did want to be with Clare, more than anything. But there was no way he'd load all this on her. Never, ever.

But he didn't seem to have a choice; he'd known that as soon as he'd opened the door and seen her look of relief. "Damn it, Adam."

She'd looked right at him, and refused to take no for an answer. She'd turned the tables, offered to turn away, and he'd broken, completely submitting to her will. It was partly the bike's fault, to be honest. There was no way he'd let another girl storm off on one, as long as he lived.

He'd driven her to the spot where his life had fallen apart, all the while thinking of how to tell her. But when the time came, she distracted him, and he ended up just blurting it out.

"This where I killed my girlfriend."

"Excuse me?" She was confused, not understanding the revelation at all.

He briefly explained it, the fight, the accident, his feelings. Why he didn't deserve to be happy, why he didn't deserve her. He'd expected her to get offended, to leave, to run away horrified, _something_.

What he didn't expect was what she said in English the next day. "Maybe Juliet should give Romeo some time?"

_Yes. _He'd almost offered then and there to pledge himself to her, but then Adam had interrupted. He'd had to explain, and he had had to say Her name.

Julia. His hazel-eyed Julia, who seemed to fade more and more as he spent time with Clare. She was dead, gone, and his night was no longer empty.

He had his stars.

**Hi lovelies! The next chapter will have fluff and more action, now that I've gotten the depressing angst out of the way. Please review, so I know if people actually want me to write it? Pretty please? **


End file.
